Today, school wasn't as bad as it usually was, I didn't go to my cross country meet today, had a low grade fever. This is the first day in weeks I've been home after school, it feels so weird. But this morning in homeroom, I brought in Mugglecast's "Harry Potter Should Have Died." Listening to everyone, debate these topics of the book, well made me feel like I can actually fit in sometimes. Ever since I stopped meds, it's been harder than ever. But, well, being alone isn't so bad, you get used to the feeling after so long. It's better than waking up everyday needing pills to function, well I still do.. I just need a few less.
I really miss the days before all this happened, years ago really. Maybe this year i'll try to include myself more, but I still see no point in it. One day maybe, I can wake up no fear at all, no medicene needed, one day maybe. But for now, I'm content with this feeling of being alone. Greg knows too, It must not be easy for him either, I know I mean everything to him, but that doesn't seem to effect me anymore.
Trig, Chemistry, Adv Drawing, a typical day. Lord, I need some white wine, always calms the nerves lately. Not a good habit, but it does help relax me.
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