This is all wrong

None of this feels right.
Your arms around me don't feel like they belong there.
Your hand on the shy of my back doesn't belong there.
Every touch, hug, kiss, none of it feels right anymore.
This can't be love, not for me. This shouldn't be so stressful, it shouldn't feel so wrong. By wrong, I mean it feels like.. no, your arms shouldn't be there. It's not even someone else, it's just all wrong. Tension is rising enough for me being off my medicine, and I bet that is playing a big part in this. But I don't want to spent my life, taking pills just to feel alone. I can do that without pills, nothing else needed.

I don't know what's going on in my head at this point, nothing feels right. Just feels like a desire, that I enjoy the attention, maybe the lust of it all. I need to stay off the Zoloft, I don't want to go back even if I'm worse now. I'm off it, and I want to stay that way.

Time to go ask Mom for some wine, that always helps. I love my parents at times, the fact I can drink wine with my Mother is relaxing, it's like our little bonding time.